How to Heal Yourself
Last time we analyzed some of the underlying reasons, this time we will talk about how to deal with it.
Firstly, let’s assume that there is no chance of recovery, and it’s not about kneeling in front of the goddess and crying, or doing something exaggerated like crying, making a scene, or even considering suicide in order to reverse the situation.
If you actually did it and managed to recover, then please refer to the bonus section on how to approach relationships, rather than what is mentioned below.
For individuals, the most important thing now is how to quickly get out of the predicament and minimize the losses.
Alright, let’s first address the “preventive treatment” stage emphasized in the “Yellow Emperor’s Inner Canon”.
First, we need to face the fact that we are just a standby option.
Most people are unwilling to admit this fact.
For example, our LittleMaster is always immersed in fantasies with the goddess.
Similarly, those retail investors who buy high and sell low.
In economics, there is a concept called “path dependence”. The official explanation is:
Once people make a certain choice, it’s like walking on a road of no return. The force of inertia will continuously reinforce this choice, making it difficult to easily get out.
For example, the well-known QWERTY keyboard (I have used Dvorak for a few months and it feels great, it might just be a psychological effect).
Similarly, the “Discussion on the Causes of Disease” in the “Suwen” also mentions:
Once a disease has occurred, then medication can follow; once chaos has occurred, then treatment can follow. It is like quenching thirst by digging a well or casting a needle after fighting. Isn’t it too late?
Cultivate a sensitive heart, recognize through small things, and see through this illusion, instead of continuously indulging in it.
Break free from illusions, mature, cut off attachments, and sever ties with your past self.
Of course, if you haven’t reached the level of seeing a leopard through a straw or predicting the future from the falling of a single leaf, there is no need to be too pessimistic.
After all, it is quite difficult to rely solely on your own strength to break free from such illusions.
This is akin to requiring a variable in code to check for bugs, which is often unrealistic (like our LittleMaster who was violently awakened by being confessed to).
Now let’s address the situation where it might be too late.
There are widely circulated ways on the internet, such as:
- Read a book that you have been wanting to read for a long time.
- Go out for a walk and do some exercise.
- Travel.
- Spend more time with friends and chat.
- Shift your focus.
It has to be said that these methods do have some effect, but they cannot fundamentally solve the problem.
When using these methods, it may seem lively and happy at first, but from another perspective, it can also be seen as another illusion.
Because others cannot always accompany you, and it is impossible for them to do so. After everyone disperses, the overwhelming sense of loneliness that suddenly comes at you feels like an act of God, unavoidable (students studying abroad may have experienced this).
So what should we do exactly?
If you have watched “How to Think Like a Psychologist - Can We Really Control our Emotions?” from Stanford University (http://v.163.com/movie/2012/9/P/4/M8I5TK339_M8KTJOSP4.html), you should have some insights.
As mentioned in the previous article, the human brain has various flaws, but in reality, as long as we don’t trigger a hardware bug, it can usually continue to function smoothly.
Subjectively, we feel that the brain is a single-core single-process system, and forcing a large amount of concurrency often results in a decrease in intelligence and judgment, let alone parallel processing.
However, we often fail to realize or neglect the existence of processes such as breathing and heartbeat in the system.
Due to the presence of kernel or hardware and software protection mechanisms, it is often unrealistic to try to perform metaprogramming on them, bypassing the monitoring of the operating system (excluding external substances like drugs).
Based on this, we can try to fork out a new process, throw all the emotions of sadness and disappointment into it, and then execute disown % instead of letting them occupy the foreground, thus affecting the programs that deal with daily life.
Translated by gpt-3.5-turbo