So Young
Want to write something, but don’t know where to start
Maybe I’ve reached a bottleneck period, and I don’t feel any obvious changes
No wonder there has been a shift from blogging to microblogging
No longer have time to write a whole paragraph
Time is completely fragmented
And I’m finally getting better at touch typing, except for certain letters like tyu, sometimes I can’t figure it out and need to give it a try, but most of the time there are no obstacles
When using pinyin to search for books in the library, I clearly feel that there are too many subtitles that need to be typed
Hangzhou Library
The first time I went there was with Ya from Liuan
I was shocked at that time. The bookshelves reached the ceiling, and I had to climb the shelves to get books. It felt like I was in a scene from a Harry Potter movie
At that time, I thought I must come here often
Finally went there for most of the day during the May 1st holiday, and tried themed reading (actually it’s just parallel reading at best)
Not to mention the effectiveness of reading, just the satisfaction of finding and reading relevant books, brushing off numerous books in one go, it feels great
Weekends
We don’t know what changes can bring us, but we are clear about what we will lose
No wonder we always keep avoiding
Last month I went to Shanghai and Hefei, apart from the effect of relaxation, it was truly exhausting
Compared to before when I stayed home on weekends, it feels like I’ve been overcompensating, always pushing myself to do this and that
Time is scheduled to the fullest, as if it’s a real-time multitasking operating system, never stopping for a moment, always running at full capacity
The result is not only tiredness, but also lacking the feeling of a weekend. The most frustrating thing is that everything gets dispersed, and when there is free time, I don’t know which task to start with
This time, I feel like I need one day to stay home, not opening the door
I must keep procrastinating until Friday or Saturday, staying up until one or two in the morning
Only then will I feel a little bit of rest
But today I went out again all day
In the morning, I watched Mechanic 3 alone, haha
I think, Tony must also be thinking, when he takes off that armor, what is he really? “Iron Man”? Then what about others who wear the armor?
He has always called himself “Mechanic”, and later he seemed to have found the answer and became even more determined. His anxiety also healed itself. At the end, he says, “I’m ironman”
In the afternoon, I went to a place similar to an English corner and read the original version of “The Art of Learning”
I had read the Chinese version before, but I still encountered many barriers, it’s tragic
Stayed up late, feeling tired but unable to sleep, no restraint
But in the quiet of the night, everything from the daytime fades away, a sense of powerlessness arises. Is this person really me?
Wang Xiaobo said, all of a person’s pain is fundamentally anger towards their own helplessness
Anger is understandable, but it’s not right to harass others when going crazy. Then who should apologize?
I’m going for a psychology counseling session tomorrow afternoon, I’ve already made an appointment
World Book Day
On April 23, I was browsing through Douban’s groups and found out that it was World Book Day
Unfortunately, I realized it too late, it’s the first time I’ve heard of it
I still remember this sentence
I have been reborn because of 200 books, and I have been reborn again because of 1000 books
I thought the 1000+ books that I’ve paid attention to were extraordinary
Just now, I saw on Zhihu that someone has reached over 8k
For a moment, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me
Then I thought maybe it was a wide range of readings, but when I saw the number of notes, I was devastated
It completely shattered my worldview
Could it be the “broom-monk” from “Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils”?
At first, I thought it was an exception, without any universality
But reality is cruel
Sadly, I discovered that the ones who reached the thousands were using a pile calculation
Are these people abnormal?
Suddenly, I became impulsive, searched through every nook and cranny, and marked as “read” all the books that I had finished reading before
Thanks to the influence of martial arts and fantasy genres, the number quickly increased, surpassing 200, but unfortunately, there was no qualitative change, and since then, my integrity became that of a bystander. I dedicate this to today
Hearts Connected, Yet Independently
In “The Sea”, there’s a line that says:
If there isn’t someone who holds your heart by your side, what’s the use even if you have an extraordinary appearance?
Compared to Yingying in “Kunlun”, I prefer Huaxiaoshuang, a woman who is so independent
Although she doesn’t have any martial arts skills, she knows what she wants, knows what she can do, kind, warm, and positive
Like Shu Ting’s poem “To the Oak Tree”
Hearts connected, yet independently
But
sometimes when I start liking someone, I’m already heartbroken, no confession, no holding hands, no embrace, nothing at all. But I feel like I’ve been in love for a long time, as if I’ve been loving this person who has nothing to do with me since the day I was born.
Now I know a bit more than before
I’m not sure if I’ve crossed a mountain, but my horizons have expanded a bit
But during that time drinking with the team leader, I said, knowing more doesn’t necessarily serve any purpose, does it?
It’s like
As for the later story, it has already missed the right time to meet the right person. For me, it is a lament, for her, it is a wound.
I’m more inclined towards liberalism, and I believe that respect provides preparation for true love. Once that person appears, I will go all out
But upon careful consideration, this is just self-deception
But what is there to believe if we don’t believe? We can only choose one, life is just so helpless
To Our Fading Youth
The whole piece is filled with a tinge of sadness, and it made me feel so melancholic. Sigh, I didn’t experience this kind of feeling in college
By the time I read it, I had already graduated, tragic. I heard that the movie didn’t capture the essence, so I won’t watch it, and I don’t want to be emotionally crushed again
Last time I returned to campus after the Qingming Festival, I looked at those current students, and I couldn’t help but feel a little envious
I originally planned to burn some paper as a tribute below the 14th dormitory building, but in the end, I gave up
I came across a passage a long time ago that can summarize it well:
Actually, I admire these tech geek guys. It’s mainly because of their way of life and their unity. They can play World of Warcraft together, play Dungeons & Dragons tabletop games together, discuss women together, watch anime together, experience various joyful events in the world of men together. This kind of happy gathering, I’m afraid only in college can we achieve it. Once you start working, once you have a career, at most you can just drink together, chat together, all the hobbies and interests may disappear, because they will definitely interfere with your work and life, so when you’re happy, don’t blink. If you blink, it’s already been 30 years.
Translated by gpt-3.5-turbo